Many of us men have tried or used online dating sites trying to find that perfect mate. Many of us are sincere seekers of such a woman! Our email alerts us that a woman has sent us a message on such a site, and if the message has one, it has a picture of an attractive, usually young, woman. So of course we click on the link or open our browsers to see what she had to say. This guy’s bio says he’s from Birmingham or Albany or San Francisco or Vancouver…any relatively normal place for a woman to live in North America.
For any of us who are a little literate, we notice that the English is poor…nothing like American or Canadian, but we keep reading anyway. She says things like “I’m described as sexy” or “I’m looking for a man who will love me and treat me like a queen” or “I was terribly abused and I’m looking for someone who treats me right” or “I read the bio you and I saw your picture and I think we’d make a cute couple’ – things that attract us for different reasons as our needs and desires and what will attract us varies so much from man to man
These biographies are a siren call, and like the Greek hero Odysseus and his men, many of us just can’t resist. Like fools, we keep reading…even though that tiny voice inside us (the voice that has saved my ass so many times when I’ve bothered to listen to it – you all know that voice too, I’m sure. ) gives out little alarms like “But the writing is SO bad…” or “OK…this is too good to be true!” or, if you’re over 50 like me, “What the hell would someone that young want (say 22, 21, 31, 28 – pick a number, they’re all there!) and who’s as gorgeous as this, a 55-year-old man like me?” I mean, come on guys… we probably all still we think we’re as adorable in our golden years as we were when we were significantly younger, but GET REAL! The alarms are REALLY going off NOW! But like I said, (ahem!) we keep reading and maybe then we decide to write vice versa.
The messages may already contain an address for Yahoo messenger or MSN Live or one of the other popular chat engines, or through your correspondence back and forth (and they WILL write back to you) you will eventually get a contact address for those chat engines. OK…here’s another red flag…if the hello message you originally got took you to her bio and the contact information for the chat is there for all to see…how many other guys do you think that they received the same general message? Anyway, we add this person as a contact…and THERE SHE IS!! LIVE!! We open a dialog to talk to her with “Hi…how are you…I’m Bob…” or whatever and she responds. And you have this nice dialogue session with this person. Eventually, with the first or more of these dialogues, they’ll start sucking you in with romantic overtures and pictures that appeal to them because they’re increasingly sexy, scantily clad, and model-pretty, but they’re probably not their pictures. These are more than likely pictures she took from a catalog or online or whatever good source she found!
In the end what will come is a well worded story asking for money…something like “I came here from America for a modeling job my roommate recommended” Which is believable, I mean the pictures are like that caliber! “When I got here, my modeling contract boss wanted to have sex with me, but I’m a good Christian and I wouldn’t do it, so he beat me and fired me, and now I don’t have food.” If you’re a softie or a major humanitarian like me and you can’t stand to see people suffer, maybe your heartstrings are pulled a little by it. If you’re a smart tough guy who goes “Awwww… to hell with that” and totally drops the ball, you definitely have my respect and admiration… my heart always seems to get in the way, heh heh. You tough guys don’t need to read any further, this article just isn’t for you!!
But… if you’re like me, listen up. “Can you give me a hand?” NOW the alarms are really going off…the tiny voice is no longer LITTLE! But maybe you’re a fool like me and listen to neither! So you ask “Well, how much do you need?” She says “$50.00” Gosh, that’s not a lot of money (for many of us) and you’re wondering how to send it, so you ask and she kind of hints at some money transfer service like WU. She has you contact them and you send money and then when she asks for it, the confirmation number from the WU transaction and she showers you with thanks and maybe a few more photos that have gone from fully clothed to quite revealing! Keep in mind that we are talking about a good, Christian lady here. Now, I personally don’t have a real religion anymore, but living in America or Canada, I think most of us know the principles and “good Christian ladies” won’t show you a picture of their breasts right away, if at all, right? But being the horny guys that we are, we ignore that warning as well. Bastards, we are so dumb…so driven by our bodies!
Now let’s think about this for a minute, shall we? A woman who is a beautiful model contacted us with an invitation to chat. She may have told you that she is falling in love with you (for example, after knowing her for 2 hours) She engages you in lots of sweet talk and searching to find out about you. She may even ask you for such personal information as your bank account, credit card to fuel potentially deadly identity theft schemes and I know people who have exposed these things!! She has you looking for money and now you have sent it. hit! Probably not… you’ve almost certainly been SCAMED!
These women keep bleeding you and bleeding you for the same amount or maybe progressively more and more money with all kinds of sob stories and tales of their love for you. Sometimes it will even lead to something like “I want to be with you, but I have no way to get to you.” And YOU WILL come up with the “brilliant” idea to send them money for a plane ticket. These women are SO good at this kind of manipulation… looks like it was all your idea! Like internet marketing geniuses, these girls have found their niche. And YOU are not the only person they talk to…NO WAY!! They are so good at it that they could have a hundred of us or even more kicking those dollars. Some of them work for bosses from home or in a boiler room setup where everything they need to get your money is provided for them and they get a sweet percentage of what they make. Can you imagine the income that can be made by a really good woman working in this market? We’re talking $1,000 and $1,000 a month! God! Am I in the wrong business?
Also, unless you talk to them on the phone, some hairy, ugly Nigerian might even be doing the manipulation!! Even with a phone call you CANNOT be sure! The internet is the best place to fake ANYTHING!! Even male orgasms!
So the safest thing to do is just drop that football! The moment she says she’s in or from Nigeria, and she’ll most likely say so right away because you’ll probably want to call eventually…she’ll probably even ask you to call! And you’ll know by the country code where it is…so no point in hiding that! Just when you have been mined for money or have the request(s) floating around at your feet, RUN LIKE HELL!! Trust ALL your alarms!! They are there for a reason!!
If you are still not convinced by any of this, then YOU are offering to fly to them!! Or tell them you’re sending them a non-refundable e-ticket to get them to fly to you. You will know either upon landing in Lagos or at the mention of the words “non-refundable” if you have anything or not. And personally, if I was flying there and she didn’t show up, I would get out of Lagos immediately because Nigeria is ONE SICK PUPPY with more crooks per capita than there are kidnappers and cartel workers in the mountains of Colombia!
I wrote this because I wanted to spare you some of the hurt feelings, despair, frustration, anger and shame I felt for being cheated on. I hope I was able to help.
For you ladies who may have read this, I don’t know if the same thing happens to your lonely hearts as it does to guys, but if it does, I would warn you to be careful too!
Save your money and be patient!! If it’s meant to be, your soulmate will show up sooner or later.